the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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