i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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