Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize