billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize