i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize