Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize