I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize