She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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