Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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