I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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