The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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