the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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