Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just tell him i said nine months
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize