She is in my trunk
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize