It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize