You just made me feel so damn special
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize