I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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