i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize