The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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