At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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