New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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