So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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