so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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