If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
that may or may not have been my penis.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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