It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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