dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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