Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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