just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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