It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize