i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He kissed a someone with a penis
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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