So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize