really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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