I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
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I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
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So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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