he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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