Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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