I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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