you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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