I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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