so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
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Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize