oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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