Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.

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(314): My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control. http://tfl.nu/vcg1

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(925): View more from California

Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.

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(925): Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend. http://tfl.nu/f39g

Replies (35) Good night (3482) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.

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(404): Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/i4q7

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...

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(402): I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9... http://tfl.nu/1jeo

Replies (2) Good night (3183) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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(603): U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite." http://tfl.nu/bn94

Replies (6) Good night (3615) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.

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(970): in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door. http://tfl.nu/9co9

Replies (8) Good night (3264) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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(602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem

Replies (11) Good night (2295) Bad night (595)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.

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(252): OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD. http://tfl.nu/ob5y

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.

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(601): You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion. http://tfl.nu/8mpu

Replies (10) Good night (2053) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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(501): View more from Arkansas

gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

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(501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca

Replies (21) Good night (4027) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.

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(404): I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special. http://tfl.nu/228x

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.

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(908): You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night. (732): Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/bgum

Replies (6) Good night (1944) Bad night (431)
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(805): View more from California

I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.

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(805): I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/leum

Replies (8) Good night (1353) Bad night (302)
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(520): View more from Arizona

She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.

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(520): She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup. http://tfl.nu/0yof

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(813): View more from Florida

It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball

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(813): It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball http://tfl.nu/dyfa

Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt

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