I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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