im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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