Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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