you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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