Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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