My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize