I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize