your thong is hanging out like whoa
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
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I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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