and my herpes radar will keep us safe
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize